Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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