if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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