My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Im just a social blackout drinker.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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