Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
