the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
