he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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