the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
