Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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