would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Randomize