i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
