yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
