did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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