Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
