OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Randomize
