OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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