This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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