I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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