I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
4 words: hood of his car
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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