Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize