dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
