I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
