I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
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