All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
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