I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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