Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
