Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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