Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
This is the high leading the old right now
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
