So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
