we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
