Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
