im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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