You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
