my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
