you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize