Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
