its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
