Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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