a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
