i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He called his prostate his "boner button".
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
