i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
