butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
