hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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