he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize