Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
You were trust falling into bushes
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize