**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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