Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
