I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
