So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
