She is in my trunk
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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