I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
