it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
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