oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
