well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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