Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
