oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
