it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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