yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize