If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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