So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I think I am morally bankrupt
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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