And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
