just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
