but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
