Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
