her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
