so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
FUCK WHALES
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
